I always talk about how the main reason I feel rich and so blessed is because of the non-tangible things in my life--specifically the people in it. It's impossible for me to wake up unfulfilled when I have so much love around me from my husband and children to my family and friends. Over the past five years, that has continued to grow tenfold. I have attracted and gained so many new friends, and with those friendships comes even more positive energy, more women to challenge and grow my thinking, a village to assist in times of need and simply enrichment into my life. These are just a few reasons why I disagree with the "no new friends" motto.
Along with my husband came the wives and girlfriends of his former teammates with whom I have become close as well as ladies he knew from college and through basketball who are now my friends. Working in education these last three years has added smart, successful and quality women to my life. College allowed me to meet a diverse group of women who have become mothers alongside me. Social media has even connected me with like-minded women. When I tell you these ladies have literally been a blessing, I mean they have been a BLESSING. I've gained confidants, closeness with women who have such bomb personalities who KEEP me laughing, women who push me to make moves beyond my fitness and educational goals, trade stock knowledge with me and so on. I've been able to bond with other mothers, have trusted babysitters when hubby and I wanted to go on date nights, and share experiences and gain knowledge and wisdom about marriage from those who are married. I have multiple shoulders available to cry on if I ever need one, more ears to listen to me vent and more positive influences for my daughters. Friends are lifelines! If you choose the right ones.
"What about your older friends?"
My older friends are irreplaceable and are the loves of my life aside from my family. These ladies have been around for nine, ten, twelve and even sixteen years now. They have super dope personalities, super dope careers, and we've grown into women beautiful inside and out together. They have filled roles such as serving as godmother to my daughter, they stood beside me in my wedding, they celebrate countless milestones with me, they've seen me at my highs and lows, they're able to give toasts and share old experiences and reflect on my growth because the witnessed it all. They know I'm 100 times more emotional than them and know what not to say because "Shardanna a** is sensitive." (LOL). They know I have had a problem holding grudges and wanting to seek revenge on people who have hurt me, and that I've become a better woman who has outgrown that, they know my pains and secrets.... They know ME. In short--THEY AIN'T GOING ANYWHERE! My girls are here to stay, but that is not to say that time of friendship equals quality of friendship because, as we all know, sometimes you have to let some people go in order for you to grow.
What about friends who are not adding to your life?
Well, to answer that question, you know how people say you attract the type of men who vibrate on the same frequency as you or that you attract who you are? The same goes for friendships. If these new ladies were not adding to my life or my happiness or were pulling me down, they simply would not be considered my friends or be apart of my life. I have not had a negative experience with any of my (relatively) newer friends because I have not attracted anyone who is on a level that is negative, shady, sketchy, pessimistic, dark, evil-spirited, disloyal, angry etc.; I draw in what I put out. On the flip side, I've learned that people change just like the seasons do and that it is possible to lose long-term friends along your journey to becoming your best self. I was talking to my friend Danielle the other day, and she was saying the same energy with newer friends (not allowing anyone in my life who doesn't add to it in some way) should be kept with longer-termed friends as well, and she is right. I can honestly say that any friend that I have lost has been a layer removed that needed to be removed. Unbeknownst to me at the time, however, is that I would eventually acquire new friendships that would not only replace that layer, but also grow muscle with it.
Making new friends means having different types of experiences in life, gaining new inspirations, added happiness, power and more richness to what you already have. Living by the "no new friends" motto could block all of that, and I refuse to block my blessings.
Written with love,
S. S.