In 2018, my then-boyfriend said three words to me that left me super intimidated and filled me with anxiety. “I want a house,” he said.
Prior to our relationship, I never wanted to own my own home. I relished in living in apartment complexes because any liability would fall on them, not me. If anything ever breaks, goes out of order, or needs to be replaced, it would be their responsibility. I had been perfectly fine going from apartment to apartment with my then-roommate, Amber, and when she expressed wanting to buy a home of her own, I had no problem (and was actually over the moon) when she said I could move in and lease one of her rooms which would, in turn help her (pay for her own home).
Fast forward just a few short months. Life happened, and before I knew it, she was moving out and engaged soon after, so that plan was no longer possible. I also became a mother, so living with someone else out a room with my daughter and my then-boyfriend was not ideal (for us), so we moved into our own place. Luckily for me, he was fine with living in an apartment, until one day, he wasn’t.
Being that I am always one to put forth action or help see plans through until they come to fruition when he presents his ideas or goals for us as a couple, I hit the ground running and researching what needed to be done in order to purchase a home, despite my fear. After all, we were now expecting another baby and had completely outgrown our one bedroom, one study apartment.
In April 2019, we received a call from our realtor. “I am sorry to say this, but I will no longer be your realtor… because you and Jherrod’s offer on the house was accepted!” Sounds of excitement erupted from my then-fiancé, and although I had the biggest smile plastered on my face, inside I was filled with fear. “Are you sure?!,” I asked. “Yep! You two are officially about to become homeowners.”
After over one year of searching and preparing to make the transition into homeownership, our goal that once seemed elusive was now checked off of our list, and it was one of the best decisions we could ever make. Now to the how, why, and what of our experience.
Why did it take so long?
Earlier, I mentioned that we started the process in January 2018, however, that did not include actually looking for houses. We met with a realtor (whom we eventually fired, so note-be mindful of your realtor; are they trying to get you in the best home possible, or are they working solely to get their commission?), to see where we stood, and went through the ‘preapproval’ process that way we would know how to proceed and essentially how much “house” we could afford. Well let me tell you right now: in 2018, we could afford to live in a house—one right in the ghetto! On our first attempt, we were preapproved for $100,000. If you live in Houston, you know that amount is hardly enough to purchase a house that is conducive to... livable standards. Although this was saddening to us, we used it to our benefit. We asked the lender why we were preapproved for such a low amount and were provided with a bulleted list of things we needed to fix, change, avoid, and things to get rid of in order to increase our loan amount to 200K, and that is exactly what we did for nearly one year.
What needed to be done?
The income was there, however, credit is one of the biggest factors in being approved for a home loan or not. After all, why would someone loan you hundreds of thousands of dollars if you are not a desirable candidate (don’t exhibit responsibility and reliability by paying your debts and/or accounts on time, or if you are actually a liability (your debt-to-income ratio shows you cannot afford more debt). One thing that I did not know prior to this is that it does not matter how much your highest credit score is—the lender won’t use it. The good news is they will not use the lowest one either. Lenders go by your middle credit score when determining your approval. So if your highest score is a 670, if your middle score is a 615, you’ll still have work to do because they prefer you to have a 620 (which we had). Although this left us extremely frustrated because our top scores were actually super high and there was quite the gap between it and the middle score, it did us no good to sit around and wallow in our frustrations; it was time to get to work. For nearly a year, we ate out less, went out less, watched money pile up without touching it (personally, that annoyed me), eliminated debts, paid credit cards down, and even took a homeownership class. That October, we got engaged and our second daughter was due in December, so the pressure was on for us to find a place to begin our new life. By November, we were ready. We were approved for the amount of money we needed, now all we had to do was pick a house! However, it wasn’t that simple.
What to know about the home buying process
Whew, chile. The home buying process is not for the weak or the impatient (no, I am not being dramatic). We started searching for a home in December after we had our daughter. By searching, I don’t mean looking online—I mean actively searching and viewing multiple homes every Saturday and Sunday for almost six months straight. Why? It is super competitive process, and unless you are building from the ground up, the very same home that you are looking at, please believe someone else likely has their eye on it too. In our case, we were looking for modestly-priced homes in a good area with good schools. Early on, we decided we did not want to spend any more than we had been paying monthly in our apartment at the time. Homes in great neighborhoods with great prices and good schools do exist, but you might have to fight for them.
Every week, our realtor would email us multiple houses. We’d look over the list, eliminate those that did not have what we wanted, and make plans to view the ones that did on the weekend. Sometimes, the house would already be under contact before the weekend arrived. Once we were finally off of work and able to go look at the house, there would almost always be other families and couples looking at it too. This part was extremely frustrating due to the fact that there was always someone willing to offer the sellers more than what they were actually asking for the home. For example, seller is asking for 200K and has five offers: ours (offering what they asked) and four others, offering 201K, 205K, 210K, and 215K. it is almost guaranteed that the highest bidder’s offer will be accepted. Why not just offer more? One, you cannot offer more than the loan you are being given, and two, we were firm in our stance to buy a home with a decent asking price due to the fact that we would now be responsible for paying a variety of new bills. For our first home, we decided to stay within our means for comfort and stability purposes and refused to waiver on our decision because we would essentially save ourselves money and all new costs would not come as a shock to us.
In one day, the sellers had received 44 offers.
In April 2019, we found the perfect home! It was spacious, had all of our internal and other requirements (year built, neighborhood, etc.), and literally felt like home. We placed our offer (more than asking price) and were devastated to find out that we had been denied yet again. In one day, the sellers had received forty four offers. You read that right. FORTY. FOUR. The energy in our apartment upon finding out the news shifted. We had been at it for almost six months, and for the first time, we begun to feel like it was impossible. However, I was not content or had a feeling of “oh well” as I did with all of the other homes. I am a big believer that what is for us, will be ours, and something about that home felt like ours. As such, I decided to write the sellers a letter and let them know that we were would simply like to be considered as a backup if the other buyer’s offer somehow fell through. And it did. Once you do find your perfect home and your offer is accepted, the first thing you will have to do before getting an inspection and starting the closing process is present the seller with “earnest” money. This is what they call “good faith” money to show the seller that you are truly ready and serious about buying their home. After two weeks, the couple who’s offer was originally accepted could not present their earnest money, and the seller, having remembered my letter, contacted our realtor and informed us that our original offer had been accepted. We withdrew our earnest money the very next day. The home was officially ours.
What I have learned (home related costs/liabilities)
Earlier I stated how we wanted our loan (and essentially our monthly mortgage) to be as close to what we were paying in our apartment due to the fact that there would now be new monthly costs added to what were used to paying, in addition to earnest money and closing costs (which could be thousands of dollars). Instead of paying for lights and internet, there was now water, gas, security, lawn care (we had no lawnmower), and even pest control to pay for. You also have to pay to MOVE. It is also common for you to have to buy your own washer and dryer, refrigerator, and sometimes even your own stove. This is added on to appliances and furnishing the house (which is much bigger than our apartment and therefore requires more furniture etc.). It may not seem like a lot, but when you purchase a house, you begin to want to live out all of your “bigger” dreams. So for us, we did not splurge and get the biggest and most expensive house we could afford in order to save money on our mortgage so we could purchase the perfect furniture or to get a beautiful refrigerator (look up the prices of refrigerators and you’ll see what I mean). This won’t be the case for everyone, however, as many homes come with some of the appliances already or, come as incentives if you’re building new. In our case, we were prepared for all scenarios. Basically, after you pay closing costs, the LAST thing you want is to be left with zero dollars in the bank.
After you pay closing costs, the LAST thing you want is to be left with zero dollars in the bank.
If you are someone who lets hair fall down the drain or always find your toilet clogged, this is for you because you’ll want to tread lightly in a home. Some other home related costs to be mindful of are repairs (I clogged our kitchen sink by pouring oil down it. A 15-minute fix cost us $200), property taxes, yearly HOA fees, homeowners insurance, HVAC maintenance, and so on. In short, your mortgage payment is only a fraction of what you will have to pay as a homeowner. A piece of advice is to always keep $1,000 to the side just for home emergencies. We were well prepared and stayed within our budget, so for us, all of the above was not only, but worth it.
What I love about having a home
I love that I get to put birthday signs in the yard for my husband and daughter. I love being able to take them to ride their power wheels without having to carry it down a flight of stairs. I love the SPACE. I love that when we paint, decorate, or purchase new things, we aren’t fixing up someone else’s space, but our own. I love the fact that we have the option to sell, make a profit, and use that money as a down payment to buy another home if we chose. I love that we are building equity. I love having a backyard to put a trampoline, baby pool, a dog and a barbecue pit in. I love waving at our neighbors or having little conversations with them—I love the sense of community. I love not having to drive somewhere else to go for a run. As someone who had lived in apartments for over 10 years and therefore threw a bunch of money down the drain to something that belongs to someone else, I love that we are basically paying our own debt. I love that our home was big enough to have a party prior to our wedding with almost 30 people and there was room for everyone. I love the homeowner tax breaks that we’ll get this year (lol). I love the memories we are building here. More than anything, I love what we have given our kids.
Homeownership—I love it here.